How Hanabi became the Hyuga Heiress
by bigdogneversleeps
Summary: Now a loosely connected anthology of stories centered around young Hanabi Hyuga and her descent into adulthood
1. How Hanabi became the Hyuga Heiress

**Just a little thing I thought of that might be funny. Did you enjoy it? drop a review if you did, I might right a new series all about Hanabi and her new found.. interest**

Hanabi Hyuga was a very innocent 11 year old girl. Though she had been training to be a shinobi all of her life, she had yet to take her Genin Exams and thus had yet to go into the field, so she had yet to draw blood, or see a dead person. She lived in a very proper household, where private business was private and nothing lowly was touched on. She was unfortunately naïve, but when she opened the door to her older sister's bedroom, was no longer.

She saw her sister, naked. This was the first thing that Hanabi saw, and the first things he commented on inside of her head. She was surprised to see her sister shaved everywhere, and was jealous of her sister's bust. She was stunned by her sister's shy, but lustful walk to her bed. And on that bed?

Hanabi blushed a very bright red. Her sister's dream was apparently coming true and then some, because not one, but two Naruto's graced her bed, both of which were naked. Hanabi had just entered puberty, so seeing two impressive tools and two hot bods to go with them had a very strong effect on her. This led to a rather loud EEP to come from her, and a thump to come with it. For the first time in her eleven years, she had fainted.

When she awoke, she was blinded by a white light. Once the light got out of her eyes, she saw an oddly happy father. Despite her (traumatic?) experience still running through her head, she still had to comment on it.

"Papa, why do you look so happy? You are grinning!" A still unnerved Hanabi told her father.

Her father managed to hide the grin that had so oddly been adorned on his face while he explained. "I was able to run off a boy before he took my daughter's virginity, and scare the hell out of him. My daughter is grounded in her room for a week, and will not see that boy again."

Hanabi blushed, but forced out her comment. "Um, father, before I fainted, I saw… two…of him. He had a shadow clone with-" She was cut off by the slow change to a glare that became the Hyuga clan head eyes.

"Two?" Hanabi nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"P-positive." Hanabi stuttered out.

Hiashi simply nodded oddly calmly, before he turned to Hanabi. "I am officially naming you clan heir, Hanabi."

Her eyes widened, "Ariagato, father."

Hiashi simply walked away briskly, muttering about how he had to kill an Uzumaki.


	2. How Hanabi found perfection

I decided to continue it, but I need your advice. Should I make this an M story? Also, this is pure crack, a goof story. Alright? Please review

..;…

Hanabi Hyuga had a newfound interest. She hadn't expected it or wanted it, but something changed that night two months beforehand. Beside her sister losing her virginity and Naruto Uzumaki-Hyuga nearly losing his manhood, she had developed a fascination with the male anatomy. So, in her spare time juggling heiress duties, life as a Genin, and training with her father, she looked.

It had begun with medical books. She would examine the male sex organ for hours in them, wondering about what they were like in general. What was their smell, their taste? How did they feel when they were in your body? In Hiashi's memoirs, he would mention that given "The Talk" to Hanabi at that age was probably an idea doomed from the beginning.

Then it came to live models within the home. She avoided her families, and spied more on the rods of the branch family, and of the first one she saw, Naruto. However, she always felt uncomfortable looking at them, because they were family (or belonged to her sister.)

So, she went to perverted novels. She lifted one from the office of the Rokudaime himself, unable to gather the courage to buy one, and read it furiously for almost a week. The description of the male genitalia were to her satisfaction, and gave her warm feelings, but she made the mistake of letting her cousin Neji-nii-san find her reading it in the family gardens. While he kept her secret, he did return the book to the rightful owner. The 50000 ryo reward could simply not be denied claiming, now could it?

As she was afraid to try and buy her own copy, she decided to use the only method available to her for seeing her new addiction, the bathhouse. While the female side was well protected, the male side had an opening that could easily be exploited. With a little digging of a kunai, Hanabi would be able to see the glories she desired

The first time she went peeping, the bathhouse started off empty. Only two people came in, both people she recognized. It was Neji's teammate and his sensei, Rock Lee and Might Gai. She quickly learned two things. That sometimes, trimming was necessary, and what jokes about 'compensation' were about. She left the experience thouroughly disappointed.

The second time she attempted to peep, the room was full of large men. Judging by the cheeks, she realized that they were the members of the Akimichi clan. Nothing impressed her at first, until a competition began. Once the need of two meter sticks was involved, Hanabi ran for her life. While the knowledge of what an Akimichi lover could do was nice, it also made her insides flinch.

The third time she tried peeping, she was caught. No, the person didn't stop her or anything, but they acknowledged her being there. It was a room full of variety, a true feast for the eyes, when she saw someone wink at her. Twice. The bugs that occasionally crawled out of his skin made her realize it was the Abrurame boy she had taken the genin exams with last month, who was apparently pleased at her ventures. She left, chilled to the core at the creepiness.

It was the fourth, and final peeping, that she found the holy one. The right size, the right color, it seemed like the ideal staff. She didn't get a good look at his face for the longest time, but was stunned to see who it was. She wanted to find it funny, but she couldn't. She guessed all the jokes about compensation weren't true.

Why else would it be that Uchiha-sensei possessed the perfect pecker?


	3. How Hanabi found a reason to look at it

Sasuke Uchiha was only slightly worried about his female student. Kakashi's idea about giving him a genin team had always been an annoying task, something done almost solely for the reason of keeping him in Konoha, rather than the stated reason of giving him a break from the hectic life all the shinobi his age had to live through. He had actually begun to worry about them, the annoying twins named Shin and Obi and then the other Hyuga heiress, Hanabi. He had no opinion of her elder sister, the only girl from his academy class not gushing over him and was the wife of his de facto best friend. When he was in the mood, he teased Naruto about having to take his wife's name. It didn't matter that he nearly chidori'd him every time he countered with the fact that he had a wife, or a girl interested in him. Karin had tried to kill him last time they saw each other, and Sakura had no clue who he was, getting amnesia from her interference in his battle with Naruto.

Anyway, back to the Hyuga. She had begun to act, well, like her sister, despite being the much more confident of the duo. The way she blushed, and stuttered around him, it almost made him think she had a crush on him, but he doubted it. Just a week before she had tried to Juken off his nuts so he couldn't spawn, in her own words. So he had no idea what it could be.

"Shin, Obi, Hanabi, let's get your mission for the day." He told the trio at their meeting spot, the bridge where he had met with his Team 7. They all nodded and followed him in line, Hanabi surprisingly in the back. He was almost concerned enough to talk to her. That was when she activated the Byakugan with no warning, very quietly. He didn't feel any presence, but Hyuga's were supposed to be specialists when it came to this kind of stuff.

"Hanabi, anything wrong?" He asked the kunoichi.

Hanabi eyes went wide, being caught and immediately shut off her doujutsu. "Nothing!" She squeaked, making him rise an eyebrow. He almost followed it up, but shook his head, figuring he was just imagining things.

Hanabi was almost having an internal heart attack at nearly being caught. She had been obsessed with her sensei's stick, and had been acting like an idiot around him. She had been stalking him as well, something he somehow hadn't noticed (his stalker alert had decayed due to years of disuse, Karin had always been so forward), waiting for a chance to peep at him. She had so far failed, and had just resorted to the Byakugan just a moment ago, but failed. She wasn't sure what she could do. They were soon at the Hokage Tower, and had gone to the mission room. Or had been supposed to, but were instead taken to the Rokudaime's office.

"Sasuke, I would like to ask for a special mission for you and your team. Lately, there has been a suspected shinobi taking people's towels at the hot springs on mixed bathing today, Fridays. I would like to ask that you and your team go in as customers for today's bathing session and catch the culprit. I suspect it is just a genin for laughs, but you never know. It will be a C-Rank due to the small threat of a fight with a shinobi, but more likely just a confrontation." Hanabi's ears perked up. A chance?

Sasuke sighed and nodded to his sensei's will. "Hai, Kakashi."


End file.
